These Ties That Bind
by Zalistra
Summary: Shepard, Garrus and Liara have made it to the Temple of Athame to recover the artifact that could win them the war. A different take on those events and what follows. MShep/Liara pairing.
1. The Fate of Us All

Shepard was growing impatient. He needed a the answer to his question and fast. Every second the VI spent explaining the details of the Reaper cycles thousands more died and that was just on Thessia. It didn't seem to care though nor notice the agitation in his voice as he pressed it further.

"There's still hope for this cycle!", he shouted. "The Crucible is complete we only lack the Catalyst. We can end this but we need to hurry! Tell me how to get the Catalyst!"

The VI's green interface flickered. "Very well, I was programmed to withhold knowledge of the Catalyst until the Crucible was complete." Apparently Shepard had said the key word or phrase that triggered the response he sought. He made a mental note to tell Javik that prothean technology was just as infuriating as a live prothean. The VI continued, "The Catalyst...alert, indoctrinated presence detected. Initiating security protocols."

His anger soared. Whatever "indoctrinated presence" that had cause the VI to flee and delay him even more was about to be turned into a pile of ash. Shepard drew his pistol and whipped around in one fluid motion. He was milliseconds from unleashing an incineration blast and a hail of bullets when the scene he beheld halted him.

Liara struggled against the assassin's hold. His sword was terrifyingly close to her throat. Kai Leng had somehow managed to sneak up on them and grab Liara while keeping her biotics at bay.

Shepard didn't think he could reach another level of angry. It felt like a volcano was going off inside of him.

"I wouldn't struggle so much, Dr. T'soni. My blade just might slip and well, that would be...unfortunate," a smug grin beamed back at Shepard. "Don't move a muscle, either of you, or your...is it bondmate now? Well, she'll suffer the same fate as Thane."

Garrus cast a glance at the commander trying to discern what plan he was formulating. He noticed Leng's gaze was focused on him, knowing the sniper rifle was a bigger threat then the pistol the Shepard favored. All he needed was a distraction. He was confident he could drop the assassin in a heart beat, especially if the commander overloaded the biotic-generated barrier first. Unfortunately, Shepard seemed frozen, unable or unwilling to risk an attack.

Liara locked her gaze on the commander. "Shepard, grab the VI and get out of here. It's the only thing that matters right now." She was trying to be brave but her voice had trembled. The commander didn't flinch. The skin on his neck had turned red, his jaw clenched tight.

"Oh yes, please do, Shepard. That would make things much more interesting. Before you do anything rash though, I believe someone wishes to speak to you," Leng's words dripped with scorn.

A small blue orb hover out from behind Leng. The device whirred and buzzed, then it began to project a holographic image. Shepard knew all to well who was generated before him. The man was proving to be as big as enemy as Harbinger. "Shepard, it's about time you showed up. The Reapers have almost over run this planet. Thank you for unlocking the beacon. Now, if you'll excuse us, we will take the prothean VI and be on our way. I can control the Reapers with it, Shepard. This is the key to stopping them and elevating humanity to its highest levels," the Illusive Man concluded enthusiastically.

"I don't know how you found out about this place, but you are NOT getting your hands on that VI," Shepard growled. Controlling the Reapers, the man was clearly delusional.

"We found it in the archives on Mars of course. Apparently your little asari play thing missed that piece of information. Perhaps she was...distracted?" The Illusive Man took a hit from his ever present cigarette, pleased with the insult he had placed on both of them.

The comment struck a little too close to home for Liara. She knew she had not fully focused on combing the Mars archive. Often she had let her mind wander to the commander. Guilt tugged at her, if only she had been more diligent. The opportunity was gone though, all she could do now was ensure he made the right choice. Cerberus had done...something to her, the feel of a foreign object on the back of her head the only indication. She had to get Shepard out of here before they could exploit it. "Shepard, listen to me. We can't fail in this. The stakes are so much bigger then us. Take him out, get the data on the Catalyst. You must do what is necessary," she pleaded.

Shepard swallowed hard. He wanted to grab the little blue orb and crush it. He wanted to obliterate Kai Leng, but what he needed to do though was get his emotions in check and think. She was right, but he wasn't ready to give up on her yet. He wasn't sure he could if it came down to it and that unnerved him. Breathing deeply, he tried to settle himself. All the cards weren't on the table yet, there was still time salvage this and get everyone out safely. The Illusive Man was trying to provoke him into something bold so he needed to stay focused. There was too much at stake to slip up now.

The Illusive Man continued, "I was pleased we had guessed correctly that you would bring the good doctor with you. I have to admit though, it was Leng's idea to take her hostage and use your loyalties against you. He's turned out to be a much better operative then you, focused on the goal and not so concerned about the methods. Honestly though Shepard, I thought you would have been wiser then this. Love only gets in the way, binds you to a certain path."

"It's the only thing that matters and keeps you focused on what is important," Shepard countered.

"Your idealism is...admirable, even useful at times, but a fatal flaw in the end. It is why I shield you from her during the Collector mission. I couldn't risk my investment," he admitted.

"You gave me the data on the Shadow Broker in the end, why?" He had to know.

"It's simple really," he paused to puff on his cigarette, "the mission was over. I had what I needed, so it was time to set up the next move. I considered that if you two reunited and fell in love again, I might be able to exploit it some day. And well, here we are." The smug look on his face boiled Shepard's blood.

He had been set up. The Illusive Man wanted to take the best thing in his life and make it the worst. He was trying to make Liara a weapon against him. The thought threatened to undo his last bits of self-control. He would not let this heartless bastard outwit him. He turned his attention to the assassin that held Liara.

"Release her, Leng. Take me head on. Fight me like a real man instead of hiding. Only the weak use such cowardly tactics," Shepard snarled at the assassin. He thought to use their tactics against them. Leng was vain and had a need to prove he was better then him. If he could just provoke Leng into coming after him. The assassin sneered back, his body language telling Shepard that he desired a head on battle. Good, he just needed to prod him a little more.

The Illusive Man was onto him though, "Really, Shepard? I didn't think you'd resort to barbarism so quickly. I thought you were the noble peacemaker now. Turians and Krogan working together, even the Geth and Quarians are playing nice. In honor of your diplomatic achievements, I offer my own deal."

Shepard ignored the hologram and focused on the man threatening Liara's life. "That's what I thought, Leng. Can't stand on your own? Have to be given permission from your master first?" He continued to jab at the assassin's pride. Leng fidgeted in place and scowled at Shepard.

The Illusive Man pressed their conversation forward, knowing the assassin's resolve was quickly crumbling. "I offer you this compromise: Leng will release the asari once he has secured the VI and your team will be allowed to leave without incident," the hologram flickered as he waited for Shepard's response. The shift in dynamic meant he was going to have make his decision soon.

"Hmm, that doesn't sound too bad. Once he takes the VI and we have Liara back we can just kick his punk ass. What do you think, Garrus?" Shepard gestured with is left hand, making a shape with his fingers that both Garrus and Liara would recognize.

Liara hissed in pain as the assassin flicked the razor sharp edge of his sword against her neck. The movement had split open her skin causing dark purple blood to gush from the wound. It wasn't deep enough to slice her windpipe or cut an artery but it was damn close. "I told you not to move! Next time she dies," Kai Leng barked.

Much to her credit, Liara did not cry out or panic. She simply grimaced in pain and slightly dipped her head to her right indicating that was the direction she would move once they unleashed their attack. Liara's eyes pleaded with Garrus, knowing she would be moving across his line of fire and could easily be his victim instead. It was the best thing should could do though. Garrus knew that once the signal word had been uttered Shepard would unleash an overload attack. The pain from overloading the barrier and shocking the nervous system would cause Leng to jolt forward, dipping his head down and forward. Liara would continue to pull him in that direction and towards his left as she braced his sword arm to keep him from slitting open her throat. He envisioned his shot, knew where he needed to aim. He would have to be lightning fast. He smirked slightly, when he landed this shot Shepard was definitely going to have to admit he was the better shot.

"Of course if you refuse my generous offer, Leng will be forced to detonate her nervous system. We haven't been able to fully test this new weapon yet, but the scientists believe if used on a biotic the action would cause the victim to internalize their biotic attacks. You can imagine the result," the Illusive man took a long drag on his cigarette this time, letting the threat sink in.

Shepard's skin crawled. It would be an agonizing death, like being eaten from the inside if it worked like he claimed. Even if it didn't fire off her biotics the damage to her nervous system would be horrific and leave Liara as little more then vegetable. He stared at her, but she would not look at him. It was the moment they had both dreaded, but never spoke about. Every time he took her on a mission it was a risk they took. He had told himself he was a solider first and foremost. The mission would be not compromised by his choice to love someone in his crew. Yet he was hesitating, even knowing that trillions of lives were depending on him. The truth was, he valued her life above them all.

Garrus could see the internal struggle raging inside. It was plain on the commander's face. He needed to buy Shepard some time. "How do we know you even have such a weapon? Sounds made up to me."

The Illusive Man smiled, "Now, now, that would be telling. The uncertainty is much more enjoyable. Besides, I wouldn't expect a simple turian to understand the science behind its design, so I won't waste my time."

Garrus scoffed, "I think you don't understand it either, if such a thing actually exists. Look, as much fun as ancient temples are to fight through, this one is special to a dear friend of mine, so I'd rather not make a mess of it. Why don't you just walk away and I won't have to turn your little pet into a headless husk?"

"Boldly stated, but hollow. My patience wears thin, Shepard. What do you choose? Will you spare your true love and allow me to save humanity? Or will you sacrifice her and entrust our fate to your blind faith in the Crucible being able to destroy the Reapers?"

He knew what he had to do. She knew what he was going to do. There had never been a choice really. This was his fate and the fate of those who followed him. Death was their constant companion and sacrifice their highest calling. So with resolution in his voice and the utmost trust in his friend and his love to do all they could to save each other, he uttered the signal phrase, "Go to hell!"

What happened next was a blur. There were bits and pieces he could recall but there was no sense of order to them. The only thing he knew for certain was that Kai Leng was gone and so was the VI. He groaned when he slowly opened his eyes only to find harsh white lights interrogating him. Shepard struggled to right himself, a stabbing pain in his chest thwarting his efforts. Breathing was difficult, but he could so pushed away the rising panic. He needed his omni-tool. Hopefully his plan had worked, if not, well, he didn't want to entertain that notion.

"Relax, Commander, you're not ready to get up yet. Here, this will help you sleep," the voice stated calmly.

The voice sounded like Dr. Chakwas, which meant he was back on the Normandy. He needed to get up and pursue Leng, not sleep! "No, omni-tool...find Cerberus," He managed to utter, the effort draining the last bit of his energy. Suddenly he remembered Liara's peril, "Liara...", he breathed, then it was black.


	2. Best Laid Plans

"Go to h-," Garrus began to raise his sniper rifle. The assassin noticed the movement and started to draw his arm across Liara's throat.

"Hell!", Shepard finished, the overload signal lept from the omni-tool. It was mere seconds before his attack landed but it felt like an eternity. He wasn't going to wait for the results though, he was already moving.

As soon as Liara saw Garrus move, she fought to bring her hands up. Part of the sword bit into her neck again and she could feel the hot blood oozing out. The overload blast finally hit. The assassin yelped and her arms were free. His blood-stained sword past her field of vision. She clamped onto his sword arm, pushing it to right, away from her throat. Maybe she was going to live after all. Her ears rung, the deafening report of the sniper rifle reverberating throughout the temple. Suddenly she was on the ground, face down, laying on top of his sword arm. She let go and reached back for the device that was still fixed to the back of her head.

Garrus took aim, and held his breath, the white flash from the overload attack confirmed the assassin's barriers had been drained away. Liara was still in the way, but he read the momentum. He lightly squeezed the trigger.

Shepard heard the report of gunfire. The next moment his shoulder had crashed into the Leng's torso, driving the assassin hard into the unforgiving concrete. During their fall, he had turned his head to find Liara. She was alive still and apparently had a death grip on Leng's sword arm since she was falling with them. Shepard landed with grunt, Liara was a short distance away pinning down Leng's sword arm. Relief washed over him, they were going to be okay. His gambled had paid off. Damn, he was proud of his team. Shepard looked up expecting to see the ruined remains of what had been the assassin's face. Instead, he was greeted with a sinister smile. "How the hell..." A harrowing scream cut him off.

Liara sat up and reached for the device that had been attached to the back of her head. With a tug, the small, squat rectangular object came free. She held it between her thumb and forefinger and examined the thing with intense curiosity. It looked so benign that she could hardly believe it was as threatening as the Illusive Man had claimed. No sooner then she had dismissed the thing, it began to glow a baleful yellow color. Liara tried to drop the object but she couldn't. Pain at a level she never knew existed enveloped her. All she could do was scream.

The scream drew Shepard's attention instantly and he froze when he realized it was coming from Liara. Panic and rage flooded him as he watched his love's body violently twitch and convulse, biotics flaring. Leng saw his opportunity. Before Shepard could recover his senses, the assassin flung him across the temple with a powerful biotic blast.

Garrus had been so proud of himself. The biggest grin he could manage was stuck on his face. That had to have been the shot of the millennium, heck the whole damn cycle. He had caught the assassin squarely between the eyes the moment Liara was out the way. He couldn't have timed it any better. He was moving towards Liara to check on her when he noticed a flicker over the assassin's prone body. Garrus could have sworn it was the same flicker that happened when a soldier's shields had been restored to full power. It was impossible though, biotic barriers and kinetic shields didn't mix. A yellow glow drew his attention and then suddenly Liara was screaming, convulsing. He had nearly jumped. Surveying her situation he quickly spotted an odd, glowing object in her hand and presumed it was the source of the trouble. So he did the only thing he could, he shot the damn thing.

She was burning...from the inside, at least that's how it felt. The pain assaulting her brain was ebbing away at her consciousness. Tears poured from her eyes and stained her cheeks. Liara couldn't control anything, her muscle contracted violently, randomly. Her biotics manifested themselves and their arrival made Liara feel like a thousand razor sharp knives had suddenly pierced her. She was certain she was being...unmade. Then as suddenly as the trauma began, it ceased. Liara collapsed to the ground with a thud.

Shepard slammed against a wall and fell face first back to the unforgiving ground. The air had been knocked from his lungs and his body roared in protest as he struggled to pick himself up. There was no time, he could not feel pain. By sheer will he managed to regain is feet quickly. The screaming had stopped and he didn't know what to make of it. Shepard cast his eyes about the temple and spotted Kai Leng and Garrus locked in close quarters combat. He aimed his omni-tool and launched his combat drone so it was behind Leng. Shepard automatically reached for his pistol holster but the weapon wasn't there. "Damn it!"

Garrus had to admit it, Kai Leng was fast. He had been fortunate enough to knock the deadly sword from the assassin with a well placed concussive shot. Now they were trading blows, Garrus' heavy armor gave Leng few places to land punches that would have any effect. Though if he wreathed his fist in biotic energy the armor wouldn't matter. It was these attacks that Garrus watched for and made sure he avoided. His visor helped him detect when the assassin was readying a biotic attack and he was sure this advantage was the only reason he was holding his own. Garrus' endurance was fading though. Kai Leng was merely wearing him down. He wished Shepard would hurry up.

Leng unleashed a vicious leg sweep and sent the turian crashing to the ground. He summoned his biotics and his fist glowed as he slammed it towards Garrus' face. The turian rolled left just in time and felt the concrete buckle up under him. Sitting up, Garrus twisted around to right and drove his elbow into Leng's back. The assassin grunted but did not fall flat to the ground as Garrus had hoped. The human rolled away from him and sprang to feet. The combat drone plagued the assassin with shocks and rocket fire, which gave the slower turian time to recover. Garrus pulled out his sniper rifle and smiled at the incineration blast he saw angling for the unaware assassin. Apparently Shepard was back in the fight.

Shepard was the embodiment of rage. His adversary had dove out the way of the blast at the last possible second and was already back on his feet. Leng raised his hand, the small cannon flared to life but Shepard continued to charge. The blasts chewed through his shields, the next one would not be absorbed but it didn't matter. He dove at the assassin and locked his hands around the throat. "You're finished," Shepard roared. Their momentum carried them to the floor and the commander pinned the assassin's sprawled out arms. Leng struggled to breath, victory was close. Pain flared in Shepard's left side. He bit it back. He would not let go. He would not falter. Leng's hand cannon hits him a second time, a third time. The fourth blow did him in. It was suddenly hard to breath, like he couldn't get enough air in. He was suffocating...again. His strength gone, Leng tossed him into Garrus who had been looking for a shot with his sniper rifle. The turian didn't move fast enough and they both tumbled to the ground.

"Leng, I've got it. The gunship is here, ready to extract you," The Illusive man announced.

They had all forgotten about him. So focused on Leng that they didn't see the little blue orb hover over to the beacon's console. They hadn't notice it initiate a download of the VI. Leng had been a distraction, Shepard suddenly realized, while fumbling through his omni-tool commands for the medi-gel application. His vision was becoming fuzzy and everything felt distant, surreal. His lungs screamed for oxygen and his throat burned, familiar sensations. He found the hole in his side and applied the medi-gel, the pain ebbed a little. Shepard could feel himself being dragged across the floor, a trail of red left in his wake. An idea surged forward, it was desperate but the only thing that might work. He feverishly typed commands to his combat drone. Shepard sent the final command and prayed as his world went dark.

"Understood," Leng responded. The hologram faded and the little orb returned to him while his barrier absorbed Garrus' assault rifle burst.

Garrus found cover just in time. A rain of bullets sailed over his head as the gunship sought to pin him down. He had to do something! Leng could not escape. Garrus thought about the last time he had fought against a gunship. The result had not been good. He hailed the Normandy. "Normandy, come in!"

"I read you, Garrus," came EDI's response.

"I need to disable a gunship. We are at the temple and Cerberus is attempting to escape with the data we need," he relayed. Garrus risked a glance from his cover to see Leng starting to board the gun ship. He quickly aimed his sniper rifle but there wasn't enough time. His target disappeared into the hull of the gunship.

"Target located, we are closing to attack range, standby," Joker transmitted.

"Reaper lock detected! Evasive maneuvers required," EDI alerted.

"Damn it, hold on everyone," was Joker's response. A few beats later, Joker transmitting again, "Shit that was close! EDI, do we still have fix on that gunship? I've lost the way point."

"Negative, Reaper jamming signals are interfering with my tracking. I am attempting to extrapolate possible positions from the last known location. There are numerous possibilities, however," her voice almost sounded defeated.

"What's the order, Shepard?" Joker's voice crackled in Garrus' ear. He looked over at the commander who was now unconscious. He could hear a rasp each time Shepard took a breath. That was not a good sign.

"Shepard is badly wounded and so is Liara," he stopped to compose himself, the conditions of his close friends settling in, "we need immediate evac," he finished. "I guess Cerberus wins this round." Garrus slumped against the low benches, refusing to stand up and to give pictures to what he was hearing. The menacing roar of the Reaper's, that ground-shaking growl, which proceeded that distinctive ping followed by a thrum of energy assaulted his ears. Small arms fire chattered away and the occasional explosion from heavy weapons going off chimed in. Interspersed in this symphony of noise was the desperate com chatter of the remaining asari military. There was cries for reinforcements, evacuation and some times the simple uttering of "Goddess". For the time since this war began, Garrus felt they might actually lose.


	3. Consequences

The second time Shepard woke up was drastically different from them first. The lights were muted and he just felt sore, not immediately overwhelmed with pain. He gingerly felt his torso, recalling how the assassin's cursed hand-held cannon had pounded away a hole in his side. The injury was now covered in bandages and medi-gel patches from what he could tell.

"You're still all there," came the steady, throaty voice of his best friend, Garrus. "Chakwas had her work cut out for her though to keep it that way. You took one hell of a beating. I admit, you had us all a little worried there, Commander."

Shepard turned his head to look at the turian. Garrus looked no worse for wear, which was a welcomed relief, but there was a look of deep concern in his eyes. The last time Garrus had looked at him that way was after Virmire, when Ashley had died. Suddenly, the smug look on Kai Leng's face was before him as his ears filled with the remembered scream of Liara in horrible pain. The sound of it had been horrendous, a blood-curling, desperate wail that had immediately cut through to his soul and seared itself into his memory. If he lived an asari lifetime, he was sure he'd never forget that sound. Fear gripped him, a grim correlation began to take root in his mind.

"And Liara...," he choked out as the memory faded. Garrus' mandibles lowered and flared out to the sides. Shepard had come to understand the gesture meant the turian was uncomfortable or troubled, sometimes both. He steeled himself for the news. Garrus gave him some water, taking a moment to consider his response. The delay only increased Shepard's dread. People only considered there words carefully when there was difficult and unpleasant things to say. If Liara was gone...well, the galaxy just didn't feel worth saving any more.

He knew better then to try to bluff the commander or sugar coat the truth. Garrus had just hoped they wouldn't have come to the topic so quickly. Shepard's body had tensed and his jaw was set. He looked like he was waiting for someone to punch him. Garrus thought that might be kinder. "I won't lie to you, Shepard, it's bad. She's barely managed to survive thus far. Whatever that thing was, it did a lot of damage. You'll have to get the details from Chakwas though. I'm sorry, Shepard. I know the doctor is doing everything she can and Liara is a fighter." The encouragement felt hollow and he wasn't sure if he said more for himself or for his friend.

The commander's shoulders sagged as Garrus finished giving him the news. The fact that Liara was still alive had caused a wave of relief to pass over his friend, but I was short lived as the state of her survival sunk in. Shepard's features became despondent as his brow was furrowed and lips pursed. His eyes had grown distant and empty. Garrus shifted uncomfortably in his seat as a weighty silence hung between them.

Shepard finally broke the silence, "Can I see her?". His voice was strained.

"Just look to your right. I moved the tables as close together as I could. I, uh, thought it might help," Garrus informed as he absently scratched at the back of his neck.

"Oh," was all Shepard could manage. He wanted to look but wasn't sure he could bear it given Garrus' report. Any time he had thought about Liara being seriously injured on a mission it had been enough to choke him up. He wasn't one to cry either, even when Ashley died he hadn't shed a single tear. He just got incredibly angry.

Garrus cleared his throat, "I'll see if I can find Dr. Chakwas, I believe she went to the com room to consult with an asari physician. She'll want to know you are awake though. If you need anything, tell EDI and I'll come." He got up and made to the leave the med bay.

"Garrus," Shepard called, "don't blame yourself. I know you did everything you could."

The turian stopped just before the exit and replied, "If you won't, then I won't". He left before Shepard could reply. Not that he needed one, they'd been friends long enough to know they would both be beating themselves up for a very long time to come.

Shepard was grateful for the space Garrus had afforded him. He took several deep breaths despite the throbbing pain it caused in his chest. Shepard told himself he would stay calm and focused on the positives. Liara had survived. Her injuries would heal in time. He would make Cerberus, Kai Leng in particular, pay dearly for threatening her life. There was time to make things right. Everything was going to be okay. Feeling ready to face what his failure had wrought, the commander rolled his head to left. "Oh God...L-Li-Liara...," he stammered.

Dark, angry bruises accentuated by deep purple tendrils that he surmised were broken blood vessels ringed her closed eyes, giving them a sunken in appearance. A clear plastic mask, which looked similar to the re-breather she sometimes wore during their missions covered most of her face. He assumed the device was helping her breath. Shepard could make out cracked, dry lips underneath the mask. A myriad of yellow-tinged med-gel patches covered right side of her face and neck. He recognized the different colored patches as those used for burn victims. From what little exposed skin there was, he noticed the vibrant, light blue skin tone of the asari he loved had become a subdued grey, indicating significant blood loss. Liara's slender, graceful neck now bore several stitches as well, a sign the doctor was conserving medi-gel for more dire injuries. He thought about the lengthy scar that would forever mark the injury, the blemish a cruel affront to her radiant beauty and a stark reminder of his failure to protect her.

A white blanket covered the rest of Liara's body, hiding the evidence of any further injuries from the Commander's view. He had to know, all of it, what his failure had cost her. Shepard struggled to roll himself to his right side, gasping when his breath caught in the pain that the movement shot through his body. Finally on his side and steadied by his right arm lying flat against the table, he started to reach with his left, but sharp pain lanced through is torso. Shepard grunted and grimaced against a wave of nausea that lurched in his stomach. He closed his eyes to focus, pain could be ignored if the need was great enough and oh how he needed to know what the blanket obscured.

A strong hand forced him to his back. His eyes shot open to find an angry Dr. Chakwas glaring at him. "Commander, you must lie down and stay still! Your stitches are still healing and could rupture if you stress them too much. Whatever you need Commander, I can get it for you."

"I, ugh, need to see her injuries...all of them," he managed to say as his body berated him for his rash actions.

"Not yet, Commander. I'll tell you anything you wish to know about Liara's condition under one condition," she offered. The doctor kept a firm hands on his shoulders. Despite his pleas, the doctor had no intentions of letting him see the extent of her injuries. She knew how much Shepard cared for his crew, especially Liara, and she feared that full knowledge of her condition would paralyze him with regret, doubt and worry. They couldn't afford that now.

"Blackmail, doctor, really? I suppose you hope to gain my cooperation with your information?" Shepard didn't like being manipulated, whatever the reason may be.

"Commander, I understand you feel responsible for what Liara is going through, but there's a bigger picture here. If you let your feelings get the better of you it will take much longer for you to recover and set things right. I think you know how little time is on our side," the doctor reasoned. The commander always had a strong sense of duty, she would appeal to it.

Shepard frowned, but knew the Chakwas was correct. 'I had to stay rational, make the call'. Liara's words rang in his head, she had faced a similar situation back on Ilium. He would want her to stay focused on the mission. He just wasn't sure the mission was going to be worth it any more. "Tell me doctor, before I order it from you," he threatened.

Chakwas sighed in exasperation. She wanted to fight back but knew it would do her no good. The iron will of Commander Shepard and the fact that he was her superior officer were against her. The doctor decided to acquiesce. Chakwas stared at the window above the commander's head, trying to decide exactly how to deliver her news. She supposed a clinical explanation would be best, perhaps it would be enough.

"The Cerberus device caused extensive neural, tissue and skin damage in her right arm, right side of her torso, neck and head. It appears the signal it sent through her nervous system was strong enough to overload the neurons it encountered, thus destroying them. Normally this would just mean a dead neural connection but since asari have eezo traces throughout their neural network the signal caused their mass to increase until they, um, well, exploded. The same occurred with any eezo nodules the signal also encountered. We are fortunate in that the since she was holding the device there were a limited number of neural pathways for the signal to take, so most of the damage was contained within the somatic system and did not affect the autonomic very much."

"Doctor, look at me," the elderly physician did so reluctantly, "I appreciate understanding how Liara was injured, but I need the bottom line."

Chakwas swallowed, she had hoped the commander would be deterred from knowing any more. She struggled against herself. The doctor in her argued that upsetting a patient recovering from his types of injuries was a bad idea. The solider in her knew that she had to do her part to keep the commander focused on the mission. The friend and fellow human part of her knew if the role was reversed, she'd be doing the exact same thing as the commander.

"I had to remove her right arm at the shoulder," she said suddenly. "When I removed the armor," she stopped, clearly disturbed, "it became apparent that it had been all that was holding her arm together. She nearly bleed out right then and there. I had no choice, I'm so very sorry." Chakwas quickly continued before she lost her resolve to give him at least some of what he was looking for. "I also had to repair damage to several pectoral and abdominal muscles as well as hundreds of blood vessels, they were, shredded, by the amount of neural explosions. I'm consulting with several asari physicians on the best way to repair the neural damage within her body. I cannot fit a functional prosthetic, or if it takes a long enough, a cloned limb, until the other neural damage is healed."

The doctor held Shepard's gaze, looking for a response to the horrible news she had just delivered and hoping he wouldn't press her for more. The commander's stare was blank and hollow, it made her think of look she saw when someone about to die. Perhaps she had already said to much. "Shepard, it is gruesome and awful what has happened, but she will recover. I will not rest until Liara is healthy again." The commander did not respond to her encouragement but continued his blank stare.

The silence stretched on, Shepard not saying a word as he rolled his head left so he could again gaze upon the asari. The galaxy's hero squeezed his eyes shut and thin lines of moisture streamed away, running down his cheek and nose to drip onto the bed below. Chakwas had never seen her commander cry before, despite all the hardships he had faced, those challenges were always met with fierce resolve. It seemed like nothing could break Shepard's spirit. Apparently there was one thing.

"These things are suppose to happen to me, not you, Liara," Shepard lamented in a shaky voice as the tears continued their stoic march down the commander's features. "I am the tip of the spear, forged to be punished and abused, yet endure. The ills of this galaxy are to fall upon me, not yet." The commander reached out for Liara's hand but it was just out of reach, the unconscious asari unable to notice or assist in his attempt to reach her. He desperately needed to touch her, feel a pulse and some warmth to confirm that she was still alive. If wasn't for the Liara's measured breathing, Shepard would have thought the doctor was lying to her. She looked so pale, lifeless and broken that he couldn't believe she was alive yet alone would ever be whole again.

Chakwas understood the commander's need and so quickly rearranged the numerous machines and monitors being used in the both their care. Satisfied that nothing could get pinched or become disconnected, the doctor released the table locks and slid their beds together.

Shepard wasted no time closing the gap between them. He tenderly snaked an arm under her neck and curled it around her shoulder as he pulled himself in close, all too aware that the arm he would have previously caressed so gently was absence. The weight of the guilt, remorse and self-doubt he had barely been holding at bay suddenly came crashing down upon him. How could stand up as the galaxy's champion if he couldn't even keep the one he loved safe? She had trusted her life to him without hesitation and this was how he repaid her? He had let the squad become distracted by the Prothean VI and the cost had nearly been Liara's life. Overwhelmed by the emotional turmoil within, Shepard could no longer manage his tears, they came in a flood now as the sobs wracked his body, causing pain to flare in his injured side. The pain felt like justice to him.

"I'm so sorry, Liara. I'm so, so sorry," Shepard wailed. He kept repeating the mantra in some absurd hope that doing so would absolve him of all fault.

Chakwas moved in behind the commander and laid a reassuring hand on Shepard's shoulder in a silent show of support. Having witnessed so many struggle to deal with the bleak realities of trauma, the doctor knew words were meaningless. A simple touch held the profound power to comfort in ways words never could. Feelings and emotions conveyed in a touch were always genuine and could bare no trickery. So she hope her commander understood that not only her, but everyone on the crew, understood his pain and would be doing all they could to recover and make it right.

Shepard's emotional storm spent, he fell into a deep sleep. Chakwas was relieved it had been intense but brief, much longer and she would have sedated him for his own good. She moved away from the commander's bed side to greet the turian, quarian and human who had been silently observing their leader's breakdown. Each of them displayed their deep concern in their own ways, clicking mandibles, fidgeting hands and agitated shifting in place.

Chakwas addressed the group, "I think it best we let Shepard rest for now. Later we can let him know that the tracking signal his drone sent to the Illusive man's projector worked." They all nodded in silent acknowledgment and retreated from the medical bay. Shepard needed some time to recover and regroup. If he didn't, they were all doomed.


End file.
